Twas the night before… 650 mostly middle aged grey men in ill fitting grey suits stay up well past their bed time in town halls in places you’ve never heard of. Get yourself down to the Lexington and look worriedly at a thing called a ‘swingometer’ til the sun comes up.
Election night, 12th day of December, year of our Lord 2019, is the the Christmas gift no one expected and no one asked for, but that’s not a reason to excitedly make a night of it and as seats are won and lost across the UK as we will collectively hold our breath for the third time in almost as many years, whatever becomes of this impotent parliament you can be sure of at least some form of morning glory if you stick with us.
- In the red corner it’s grime loving, local boy Jeremy “sort-it-in-six-months” Corbyn.
- In the blue corner it’s the pathalogical liar Bojo the clown, will he actually end up dead in that ditch as promised?
- In the yellow corner it’s Jo “I Luv EU but will also probably prop up the Tories” Swinson.
- In the shit stained corner we have everyone’s least favourite barfly, Nigel Farage, who thankfully can’t win anything as hasn’t even bothered to run as an MP himself because he’d rather hold on to his cushti his MEP salary and understands that he wont .
- In the corner north of the border, waiting quietly with an independence referendum is the Queen of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon.
We’ll have two floors of coverage to keep you educated on proceedings, a well stocked bar to keep you captivated, award winning burgers to keep you upright and strong coffee to keep you awake. Maybe the Japanese, German and Dutch TV crews will descend and give us another 15 minutes of fame as the best election night party in London?
In a night where seats will be won and lost across the country, you’re strongly advised to arrive early to bag a seat as we won’t be taking bookings on this night. Nothing is guaranteed and everything is possible as long as you remember to vote!
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